The Dance of Dream and Drive Part 1
Jun. 6th, 2017 12:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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lostandfoundlrpI
Casey lived for her breaks. Her breaks meant she could sit outside and let the city speak to her. That she could get from behind her desk and be one with this place she has started to love. She left Montana nearly three years ago for Grad School and New York was her place. It was where she met her girlfriend, live in the loft with five other people and where she started to feel at home. Work was on the other hand painful. Painful was not the word. Painful meant that it was something that hurt her. It did hurt at all. The people there were nice enough and she loved supporting the coding guys with any overflow of work from the website.
Yet if you asked, really honestly asked her what they were doing there she couldn’t answer. She couldn’t answer what the company did or who owned it beyond the place has something to do with making projects be more easily managed. They would use lots of terms that would make her glazed over. It was money. It was OK money and who could say no to that or rather who should say no to that? Not her at least.
Yet when she looked over the city things were different. They had this little roof garden that no one really used outside lunch. Her work for all its corporate undertones was quite flexible about hours. She would sometimes take her laptop up to the balcony and work through her tasks but recently she had been doodling something. An idea had been forming like a tiny flower in her mind and now that warm June evening in Brooklyn it had begun to form.
“What do you have there?” A soft voice drifted over the mild wind that had to start. It sounded like an old colleague professor she had that made her want to get into coding.
“Oh this little thing, Oh it’s just a doodle. It’s really just nothing” she began closing the window down where she had started to craft the concept for her app. “It’s not really anything. Just an idea really I have been having lately.”
“We love ideas don’t we Dream. Tell us your dream.” Said a young woman sat on the railing in the shadow of the skyline.
“Yes tell us what is in your doodle. It is our job to listen Casey Annabelle Logan. It is our purpose.” Said the kindly voice again but this time it sounded like her Grandmother Alice who had been dead for three years.
“Well it’s just an idea for an app. It’s silly really but I love being outside. I love having a view when I work. Just loads of people don’t feel the same here. Or just don’t say so anyway. Well what happened if you could find people that shared your likes. You know find people out there that liked the same show as you or same painter or same ice-cream. This city can be so lonely but it need not be with so many people. You know, like a Tindr for new friendships. It’s dumb though. Like who could be bothered with that?”
“We wouldn’t be here if it was dumb Casey. Like Eden said, it’s our purpose and we believe in you. We think lots of people would be bothered but you have to make it first.” Said the young woman, at further inspection she looked like she should have been made out of marble and had a smile that would raise the dead. “We will be back when you need us but you got to make the next move Casey.”
Looking to her computer the doodle really was a good idea. It would be easy to code. It just required time and up on this roof far above a city that has birthed thousands of such dreams and dreamers she had it.
∞
II
She had been throwing up for over an hour. The water on her face was no comfort. There was still time. She could call the investors off. Tell them that she had changed her mind. That the design didn’t work out. Her job was fine. Her girlfriend made her happy. She still had her all her places to watch the world go by with ease. Maybe she would get promoted. Maybe she would get a better package. The water was cold and her heart beat hard in her chest.
“Is this what you want” said the woman she once met a year and a half before up on the rooftop. “A life softly lived? No dent or wonder or joy that is wholly yours? A potential unlived is a tragic thing.”
“But this is hard.” Casey said without thought.
“Things are meant to be hard. That is why they are new and different because no one has thought of them. If it was easy they wouldn’t need Hope or me…” Said the voice which sounded like her girlfriend San that morning in bed.
“If I said that this is the hardest bit would that make it better?” interrupted the woman sitting on one of the basins in the bathroom. Her legs dangling off the side did not make her any less a ball of fearless joy.
“Ummmm Maybe.” Casey replied like a small child. She felt like she was 7 again being told that girl couldn’t wear trousers or a an 18 year old that could get into coding or 25 year old that could move to New York and work in tech.
“Well it isn’t. All of this will be hard but you have to believe in what you are doing and you want the best. The best is full of long hours and push backs. The best says that nothing gets done until it is perfect. Until it is what should be again and again until your fingers bleed.”
“But what if I fail? What do I do then?”
“Failure is all part of being alive little one.” Said the woman in the white dress, as she tided back Casey’s hair in a bun on her head.
“Remember you are not alone. We are here with you from when you have started and when you want to finish. This dream it’s your path to take and it is you that choose to walk it however far you want to go. Yet regret kills as many as any weapon.” The voice again like a warm wind and sounding like her own from a time far from now when she has lived up to what she could be.
Casey looked at herself in the mirror. She saw her mother’s eyes that told her that she should try for the best but not forget where she was from. She saw her father’s mouth that said that there was nothing as ugly as a missed opportunity. She saw countess women and men sad and alone in this mighty city just wanting to have another there to share a moment away from the seclusion. It was more than a doodle. It was a social movement. It was a change agent. It was a chance to transform the world and take away the darkness a little bit.
“What you waiting for! Go get them tiger!” Said the woman as Casey opened the bathroom door out into the hallway and onto her future.
∞
They watched her over the coming weeks then months and finally years become. Doodle was not invested in that day but it was weeks later in a bar in the West Village after she told him about her idea. The man had been widowed for over a year and was not ready to find love he wanted to find friendship again. They watched how she convinced her friend from school to come lead on her sales team taking a massive pay cut for some shares in her company. They watch the launch happen and Casey delivering her speech on crutches after getting into an accident a few days before.
They watch the times get hard. The app not working as well as she liked. They watch her and San grow distant. The relationship end and everything feel desperate. They came to her again then but they knew their work was done. She would get up. She would brush herself down. She would walk the path again. She would sell all her things and her parents would mortgage their farm to give her more capital to invest in a better platform.
She worked harder than before. She put her all in and other around did the same as Casey. For the Universe in its majesty answered the hard work, the toil and drudgery with success. The app was featured in a Tweet of a major celebrity who in turn inspired a podcast to feature it. Then a magazine wrote about it and a popular talk show host invited Casey to tell her story. It was downloaded far and wide. Friendships were made. People used it to volunteer. To become active at their local political party or keep bees in urban hives or learn how to speak Spanish. The world became huge and small as it bathed delight like a roof guardian in early summer.
They watch Casey as she found someone else. They watched as she married and had three little babes with little feet and big eyes. They watched her pay back everyone she borrowed from. They watched when she refused to sell the company unless it made sure her staffs were treated fairly. She watched herself move from being a simple coder to a CEO. She was invited to speak and tell her story. They would come watch her from the back of the room. Long past when she had sold her company and moved onto other brighter and world changing things.
She had always dreamed of doing a TED talk. She watched them religiously on YouTube when she was at collage. Now as she waited in the wings she remembered everything that had happened. All the good and the bad that befell those she had worked with. All the hard work that she had put in as well as the backs that held her up high so she could be where she was now. When she heard her name Casey walked out boldly onto the stage. Her children, wife, parents and friends watched her. Hope and Dream from the rafters watched her.
The room was still. This was the moment where magic lived. Then breathing deeply she began:
“This dream it’s your path to take and it is you that choose to walk it however far you want to go. Yet regret kills as many as any weapon….”
Casey lived for her breaks. Her breaks meant she could sit outside and let the city speak to her. That she could get from behind her desk and be one with this place she has started to love. She left Montana nearly three years ago for Grad School and New York was her place. It was where she met her girlfriend, live in the loft with five other people and where she started to feel at home. Work was on the other hand painful. Painful was not the word. Painful meant that it was something that hurt her. It did hurt at all. The people there were nice enough and she loved supporting the coding guys with any overflow of work from the website.
Yet if you asked, really honestly asked her what they were doing there she couldn’t answer. She couldn’t answer what the company did or who owned it beyond the place has something to do with making projects be more easily managed. They would use lots of terms that would make her glazed over. It was money. It was OK money and who could say no to that or rather who should say no to that? Not her at least.
Yet when she looked over the city things were different. They had this little roof garden that no one really used outside lunch. Her work for all its corporate undertones was quite flexible about hours. She would sometimes take her laptop up to the balcony and work through her tasks but recently she had been doodling something. An idea had been forming like a tiny flower in her mind and now that warm June evening in Brooklyn it had begun to form.
“What do you have there?” A soft voice drifted over the mild wind that had to start. It sounded like an old colleague professor she had that made her want to get into coding.
“Oh this little thing, Oh it’s just a doodle. It’s really just nothing” she began closing the window down where she had started to craft the concept for her app. “It’s not really anything. Just an idea really I have been having lately.”
“We love ideas don’t we Dream. Tell us your dream.” Said a young woman sat on the railing in the shadow of the skyline.
“Yes tell us what is in your doodle. It is our job to listen Casey Annabelle Logan. It is our purpose.” Said the kindly voice again but this time it sounded like her Grandmother Alice who had been dead for three years.
“Well it’s just an idea for an app. It’s silly really but I love being outside. I love having a view when I work. Just loads of people don’t feel the same here. Or just don’t say so anyway. Well what happened if you could find people that shared your likes. You know find people out there that liked the same show as you or same painter or same ice-cream. This city can be so lonely but it need not be with so many people. You know, like a Tindr for new friendships. It’s dumb though. Like who could be bothered with that?”
“We wouldn’t be here if it was dumb Casey. Like Eden said, it’s our purpose and we believe in you. We think lots of people would be bothered but you have to make it first.” Said the young woman, at further inspection she looked like she should have been made out of marble and had a smile that would raise the dead. “We will be back when you need us but you got to make the next move Casey.”
Looking to her computer the doodle really was a good idea. It would be easy to code. It just required time and up on this roof far above a city that has birthed thousands of such dreams and dreamers she had it.
∞
II
She had been throwing up for over an hour. The water on her face was no comfort. There was still time. She could call the investors off. Tell them that she had changed her mind. That the design didn’t work out. Her job was fine. Her girlfriend made her happy. She still had her all her places to watch the world go by with ease. Maybe she would get promoted. Maybe she would get a better package. The water was cold and her heart beat hard in her chest.
“Is this what you want” said the woman she once met a year and a half before up on the rooftop. “A life softly lived? No dent or wonder or joy that is wholly yours? A potential unlived is a tragic thing.”
“But this is hard.” Casey said without thought.
“Things are meant to be hard. That is why they are new and different because no one has thought of them. If it was easy they wouldn’t need Hope or me…” Said the voice which sounded like her girlfriend San that morning in bed.
“If I said that this is the hardest bit would that make it better?” interrupted the woman sitting on one of the basins in the bathroom. Her legs dangling off the side did not make her any less a ball of fearless joy.
“Ummmm Maybe.” Casey replied like a small child. She felt like she was 7 again being told that girl couldn’t wear trousers or a an 18 year old that could get into coding or 25 year old that could move to New York and work in tech.
“Well it isn’t. All of this will be hard but you have to believe in what you are doing and you want the best. The best is full of long hours and push backs. The best says that nothing gets done until it is perfect. Until it is what should be again and again until your fingers bleed.”
“But what if I fail? What do I do then?”
“Failure is all part of being alive little one.” Said the woman in the white dress, as she tided back Casey’s hair in a bun on her head.
“Remember you are not alone. We are here with you from when you have started and when you want to finish. This dream it’s your path to take and it is you that choose to walk it however far you want to go. Yet regret kills as many as any weapon.” The voice again like a warm wind and sounding like her own from a time far from now when she has lived up to what she could be.
Casey looked at herself in the mirror. She saw her mother’s eyes that told her that she should try for the best but not forget where she was from. She saw her father’s mouth that said that there was nothing as ugly as a missed opportunity. She saw countess women and men sad and alone in this mighty city just wanting to have another there to share a moment away from the seclusion. It was more than a doodle. It was a social movement. It was a change agent. It was a chance to transform the world and take away the darkness a little bit.
“What you waiting for! Go get them tiger!” Said the woman as Casey opened the bathroom door out into the hallway and onto her future.
∞
They watched her over the coming weeks then months and finally years become. Doodle was not invested in that day but it was weeks later in a bar in the West Village after she told him about her idea. The man had been widowed for over a year and was not ready to find love he wanted to find friendship again. They watched how she convinced her friend from school to come lead on her sales team taking a massive pay cut for some shares in her company. They watch the launch happen and Casey delivering her speech on crutches after getting into an accident a few days before.
They watch the times get hard. The app not working as well as she liked. They watch her and San grow distant. The relationship end and everything feel desperate. They came to her again then but they knew their work was done. She would get up. She would brush herself down. She would walk the path again. She would sell all her things and her parents would mortgage their farm to give her more capital to invest in a better platform.
She worked harder than before. She put her all in and other around did the same as Casey. For the Universe in its majesty answered the hard work, the toil and drudgery with success. The app was featured in a Tweet of a major celebrity who in turn inspired a podcast to feature it. Then a magazine wrote about it and a popular talk show host invited Casey to tell her story. It was downloaded far and wide. Friendships were made. People used it to volunteer. To become active at their local political party or keep bees in urban hives or learn how to speak Spanish. The world became huge and small as it bathed delight like a roof guardian in early summer.
They watch Casey as she found someone else. They watched as she married and had three little babes with little feet and big eyes. They watched her pay back everyone she borrowed from. They watched when she refused to sell the company unless it made sure her staffs were treated fairly. She watched herself move from being a simple coder to a CEO. She was invited to speak and tell her story. They would come watch her from the back of the room. Long past when she had sold her company and moved onto other brighter and world changing things.
She had always dreamed of doing a TED talk. She watched them religiously on YouTube when she was at collage. Now as she waited in the wings she remembered everything that had happened. All the good and the bad that befell those she had worked with. All the hard work that she had put in as well as the backs that held her up high so she could be where she was now. When she heard her name Casey walked out boldly onto the stage. Her children, wife, parents and friends watched her. Hope and Dream from the rafters watched her.
The room was still. This was the moment where magic lived. Then breathing deeply she began:
“This dream it’s your path to take and it is you that choose to walk it however far you want to go. Yet regret kills as many as any weapon….”
